In 2008, Before my first sexual intercourse I desperately sought birth control. Specifically an IUD, I was19 years old and had done my research and knew I wanted a non hormonal/low hormone menstruation prevention.

You see I am a trans-man who enjoys protected sex with men. As a 19 year old sexually inexperienced, hornet, female bodied, college student, my gender and sexuality was not identified quite so clearly, but I knew I did not want to become pregnant and estrogen was bad for my mental health.

I made an appointment with a random Gynecologist to ask for a Mirena. He told me no. He said he was not able to give IUD to girl so young. Young people tend to have more sex partners and the Risk of STDs was higher. He prescribe me oral BC, and I went home and cried. I was presenting female and could not come out as trans or gay to anyone at the time. Next I made an appt with the local Planned Parenthood, armed this time with information. IUD doesn’t increase your risk for STDs after the initial trauma of placement has healed. The doctor there told me they could not and would not place an IUD until a woman gave birth. She told me frankly that any Gynecologist wouldn’t because if there were complications I wouldn’t be able to have children. I cried and told her my struggles with mood swings, and tearfullness on oral BC. She prescribed me Depo.

I kept asking for IUD until 2011 when immediately after I had my child my OB/Gyn, before prescribing Mirena, verified that I was Married, and that things were good with my husband. My relationship was ethically non-monagmous, but I knew the drill now. I assured him truthfully that I was happily married and that my partner consented to not procreating more at this time.

I still have my IUD. But I think back in those three years and wonder if I would have found stability and self compassion sooner if I hadn’t had lost the fight for body control those three years.

I tell people now, and they are amazed it was an ordeal. I was living in a Nevada those years, and access, evidence based Care, and patriarch limits on female bodies varies greatly state to state.

I currently have health care that covers my HRT, along with my IUD. My ability to function as a productive member of society has benefited. But for me there are still barriers. If I want to have children, I should store eggs, which is not covered by my insurance. Not only that but the charge for storing ovum is disproportionately expensive as facilities charge per egg. If I could manage to store for the next 3-7 years I could only manage to keep 1, even though the process would harvest 7-12 ovum. The rest I would have to donate. So with all this concern about my fertility when I was trying to get an IUD, now I must gamble that I will be able to make another child when the time comes regardless of testosterone’s effects. Which is heartbreaking to my partner of 10 years.